Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Proud to be a c-section mommy

Some of you probably think I'm crazy already just from the title of this post. Trust me, I'm not. I've been contemplating writing this post for ages and have drafted it several times only to delete it because it's been written out of anger. Anger that often when I mention that I had a c-section with Grace I see someone roll their eyes. I hear people constantly tell me how awful c-sections are and how I should try for a VBAC. These people have no idea what happened during my labor or what complications I'm dealing with due to my health and this pregnancy. Instead, they hear the word c-section and automatically judge my decisions. I have explained in a previous post why I chose to do a repeat c-section with Connor and not a VBAC. It was not an easy decision and I know the risks that I am taking.

Let me stop for a second and say that I know that c-sections are overused. I know that many women are forced into them and that many women who could have vaginal births are coerced into having them. I am not unaware of those statistics. However, there are some situations in which a c-section is necessary, and I believe that I am one of those cases. I never once felt forced into one and my doctor would have let me continue to labor longer had I wanted.

So why do people automatically assume that I was one of those "poor naive girls" who didn't know what I was doing or was forced? Mike and I made the decision fully aware of the risks and I thank God that we did because I honestly believe that Grace would have spent a lot longer in the NICU than she did had I labored any longer.


So why does having c-section make me any less of a woman or a mother? Why am I looked down upon because I didn't push her out the "normal" way? I am all for having the birth experience you want, but that doesn't always happen and mothers need to stop judging each other based on it. Unless you were there in the room with someone, you don't know what happened to them or why decisions were made.

So, c-sections mommies, be proud. You did what was best for you and your child!

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5 comments:

  1. Great post! I too ha a c section with my first and am
    Choosing to have another with my second. Everyone keeps telling me to consider the risks and I have. I believe a repeat c section is safer. And that's what we are doing. I don't think having a c section makes anyone less of a mom. So good for you for doing what you feel is right for you

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  2. I agree with Katie, Great post! I managed to give birth naturally with forceps but it would have ended in c-section. I reckon what evers the best way to get your little one matters the most.

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  3. WOW!!! Never did I realize that other mothers thought that I was less of a woman for having 2 c-sections. Do other mother realize that the end result is the same for women who have vaginal births and women who have c-sections? We all want the same result...a health baby and a healthy mom. Women tend to voice there opinions about everything needing to be the natural way and if it isn't, well then that was the wrong choice. I was like you, I was not forced into my 2nd c-section, but after discussion with my Dr and my husband, the best for everyone was to have a repeat. Just because the woman in the next room had her baby naturally, without one drug, does not mean I opted for the easy route or that I am less of a woman than her or that I am weaker. We both crossed that finish line with the same ending....a healthy baby. So for those that judge women who opt for good reason to have a 2nd c-section when given the choice, please keep your opinions to yourself. It is not fair to judge anyone when you don't have all of the facts. So welcome to the follow-up c-section club and Congratulations!!!

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  4. I am in the same boat.. i had a smooth pregnancy, but a not so smooth labor, after 18 hours with little progress, and my daughters heart decelerating every time i turned to my left, i think it was the smart choice to go for the C-section. I don't know what was causing her heart to drop, but for me it was scary, and worth the surgery to make sure she was delivered safely. You are no less of a mom for having a Cesarean birth, trust your instinct as a mom, it is one of the greatest tools we have. Congrats on your baby-to-be.

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  5. I am a c-section mommy x3. With my 1st when I finally got to the pushing point, about 16 hours, I pushed for over 3 hours. Baby wasn't progressing, forceps or vacuum would not help. I ended up having an emergency c-section that was so horrible that they put me under and I was in recovery with severe pain for 5 hours where I was not allowed to touch my baby. I was nervous with #2 because of previous experience and felt that a scheduled c-section would be best. When #3 came around I played with the idea of a VBAC but doctor said no. Anyways, I have 3 healthy babies and 1 scar that I can barely see. The added bonus was that I could tell my oldest how my babies were born :)

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